periodically
in order to make flatman we needed to tape thread to a €2 coin; so sibel and i went to the library, hoping to ask kathryn if she had tape.
she wasn’t there, probably in the staff room or something, but there was a roll of tape on her desk, so we just started attempting to stick the thread to the coin.
after several unsuccessful attempts, she walked in, took a brief note of what we were doing, and sat at her desk. in the middle of checking books for stokes, said, ‘you’ve got too much thread wound around the coin, girls. if you unwind a bit of the thread and add more tape you’ll be grand.’
and of course, it worked.
the thing i loved about it, was that she didn’t even question the reason why we were taping the thread to the coin, she just gave us valuable advice to point us in the right direction.
stokes, of course, thought we were strange.
after filming though, we rushed back to the library to show kathryn why we’d needed the thread/coin/tape; she laughed and said, ‘and yis are in 6th year too! it’s just as well you’re ib students…you have an excuse.’
i’m a leaf on the wind!!
driving back from limerick was interesting. lashing rain. pitch black. heavy traffic from the red cow to bewley’s. yay.
we talked about universities. we talked about immigration. two of the things that could push me over the edge just a bit.
i remembered hyper-ventillating into a paper bag in the back seat of the car coming home from somewhere i can’t remember.
i remembered sobbing into natalee’s shoulder in the powder room.and yet just then there was an egg in my throat and burning in my eyes.
apparently it’s all down to this fierce loyalty thing that people keep telling me i have, and that i keep seeing pop up everywhere. but then i realised that i’m becoming too self-indulgent with panic and self-pity and worry and over-dramatising things. histrionic. yes. histrionic. that’s the word. such a good word.
and it’s probably just so that i won’t have to focus. so i want no more of it. which is easier to say i suppose but i want no more of it.
instead, i’m a leaf on the wind!!
starting off in one place and ending up in another, flipping and floating between. and that is something to be excited and optimistic about.
and now that i’m getting into dodgy metaphors, i’m going to bed.
*wash from serenity
