throw a stone and watch the ripples flow…

we’ll have to see how this turns out because internet connection’s a bit on the iffy side today…

valedictory night was on monday night – and of course bono, U2, patrick kavanagh, and the like were all quoted liberally during the course of the hour and a half. and we were all shocked that our headmaster didn’t drone on about amy martin for half of the time – which is what he did for the ib special assembly the day we finished school:
‘..oh yes and well done to our ib students for finishing school…now amy martin is playing in golden discs today – ‘
etc etc etc for ten minutes while we stood there kind of awkwardly. which would have been fine if he’d come to the whole fifteen minutes or so of the assembly – but he arrived late, made a passing comment to say goodbye to us all, and then raved about amy martin, so that was what was awkward, really. but then again, there was still valedictory night coming, so i guess, it wasn’t so tacky. we weren’t terribly offended, more just found it funny and typical.

but monday night was good – even with the half-dead trees on either side of the stage – and very eMOtional. plus we were able to slag off the leaving certs because they’ve not even started exams and we’re finished. and then afterwards we all went dancing so we were happy.

i find it rather weird – there are so many people i see all the time that i feel like i know very well and yet have never spoken to before. like when i’d walk to school, i used to always pass this man pushing his daughter in a stroller. every morning for four years, or a little less actually, i’d pass them. and he’d smile and nod, and the little girl would kind of giggle, and we’d go on. she used to be the tiniest thing – and she’s grown so much.

or the two elderly men who i always see in the park when i walk through. the first has frizzled grey hair and cycles – he has thin wee legs that are the colour of those redish/purpley potatoes – and i wish my legs were that colour. although maybe i shouldn’t because there might be a painful history behind that, or they may bring him all sorts of trouble, i don’t know. but i think he’s cool anyway.

the other has white hair and walks on the retaining wall between the dart tracks and the sea, looking out over the bay and towards howth. he strolls down the wall with his hands in his pockets, taking his time, looking like he’s drinking in everything around him. it’s wonderful.
i do not know any of these people, and yet i wish i did, and i feel very attached to them.

the recent controversy over the lisbon treaty has been most interesting, though. there’re posters up everywhere – vote no, vote yes – put up by various parties. the thing is, both sides claim the same thing. the posters from parties against the treaty say:
better for ireland! VOTE NO.
and the posters from parties for the treaty say:
better for ireland! VOTE YES.
ah yes, lads, effective campaigning. well done.
(of course there are a few that are a wee bit over the top, but the majority of them all say the same thing).

a lot of people don’t even know what it’s about – or just have a vague knowledge of what it is and what it does. and i was reading an article in the newspaper the other day which was saying that unless there’s more publicity and education on what the treaty’s about, ireland will probably vote no on the treaty.
all the people who think it’s good will just say, ah sure, it’s grand and most won’t turn up to vote, while the people who are against the treaty will be very passionately against it and definitely turn up to vote. the article said this will probably be brian cowen’s first real test as taoiseach – turning a potential political disaster around in less than a month.
it wasn’t expressing an opinion on the treaty itself – just saying that if a small percentage turn up to vote it’ll be a disaster whether ireland votes for or against it.

what i think is the funniest is that sinn féin is advertising their opinion on the treaty. they really should express the opposite – then most people would say, ah, sinn féin says to vote yes? right so, we’re voting no.
except your hard-core republican nationalists who could almost be fenians. they’ll probably follow sinn féin policy. but anyway – that’s terrible stereotyping. i’ll stop now.

clodagh has also started cycling to training. and subsequently, earl has come up with the theory that we’ve made a ’guild of the cyclists’ – he says florry passed it to mick, mick passed it to me, and now i’m passing it to clodagh. although (according to him at least) clodagh gets the ‘benefit of training’ by being a ‘cycling apprentice.’
‘that sounds so emotional!’ jess said when he was announcing this to us all. ‘i now pass this on to you, the new cyclist, and all of that…’
but it’s all good, because now we get to walk out together, unlock our bikes, slag each other about helmets, and cycle off together.
in a way it does feel like earl’s right, but we don’t have meetings discussing things like where the pot holes are in the road and how to avoid them, like he suggested. ha.

and he’s been coming up with some pretty wild theories lately, like how penguins, dolphins, tuna, and plants are all in a plot together to increase global warming to get rid of humans.
‘a lot of species out there would be pretty thrilled if there were no more humans around, abbygail,’ he told me. ‘they’d be local heroes.’
and i just say, ‘cáca milis, earl, cáca milis.’

a few days ago sarah and i were walking towards the village together; she was telling me her backup plan for if she fails her exams. this plan involves moving to france for a year, where won’t have to work, won’t have to do anything except cook.
of course, as she was telling me this i was thinking, she’s not going to be able to do that, they won’t let her stay unless she’s on a work visa…and then almost instantly i realised that she has a european passport – it doesn’t matter for her.
and then i was infinitely jealous. and a little bitter. but there you have it.

but on a happier note…nine exams down, six to go!

we had our last day of school two weeks ago – well – ‘last day of school’ – a few of us came in for maths and chemistry classes for the two weeks between then and now, and still more of us came in to study – and it was strange, because we all kind of said goodbye to the lcs, and then there we were, wandering in (with non-uniform, too, which made us stand out even more) at odd times…

but it was nice…little groups in corner of the library, in the ib rooms, outside at the picnic tables, walking to the shop, wandering down through the park towards the village. 
after chemistry on saturday five of us walked down, through the park, and into the village and chilled for a few hours, which was lovely. relieving stress with the serenity of the silver greygreen sea nearby.

been trying to organise the great cardiff adventure the past couple of days, which has been preserving my sanity i think. it’s been pretty fun actually, having to organise everything. now it’s just to convince loads of people to go so we can get reduced rates for things. ha. 
some part of me thought we would plan and plan and never go – but it’s starting to come together now! and i’m excited.

and nationals this weekend, which means that we’re tapering and we’re hyper and energetic. the water levels in the pool are higher than normal, the water is just the right temperature, and movement through the water feels graceful and smooth and joyful. sprints of the block and nickels and i start trading stories and singing a confused medley of songs that definitely don’t blend well together.
and after training the two of us burst into the changing rooms singing
my fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation
i know that i should let go but i can’t
and every time we fight i know it’s not right
every time you’re upset and i smile
i know that i should forget but i can’t..
to baffled teammates who after a moment’s pause join in.
although, that song mostly reminds me of the hague; they played it almost every night at cramer’s…
and it is a perfect, welcome break from studying all day. 

yesterday was quiet, and today was quiet, quiet when i woke up, quiet all day, quiet now. and full of sunshine. sunshine that streams in through the window and filters soundlessly through the leaves of peter, curtains, molly, viola, and ezekiel, creating a sort of glowing green light all through the front of the sun room. yesterday the horizon was heavy with a sodden veil. which means it will rain today. but not yet, not for a few hours.

and so i walk down up and over to the sea. and the water is so clear, clear and yet pale aqua-coloured, like in málaga, and i’m not able to help but pull off my converse and socks and roll up my trousers and wade in as far as i am able, splashing around. colours ribbon through the tiny waves – they are tiny because the sea is on its way out – purple and blue and thin green before they meet the clear aqua where the waves swell around my feet. 

i spend the next hour collecting sea glass. when all of my exams are over i will make a sort of mosaic with the sea glass – using all the different coloursshadestextures of the glass to make a mosaic of the sea. when i have a handful of little pieces i wade back into the sea let the little waves wash over my hands and wash the sand off of the glass. and then i spread them over the rocks of the ledge to dry in the sun, some sparkling, some faded.

one part of the sky is blue, flecked with white clouds. the other is obscured, grey and dark grey clouds building up edged in purple and blue. i transfer the sea glass from the rocks to the white shirt i’ve brought, wrap it up, and leave slowly. the sea has changed, it mirrors the sky. one part is still blue and purple and turquoise; the other is now dark – navy and forest green and deep, deep purple – and yet, towards the north, there is a vertical ribbon of a mixture of green and sand colour that stands out – a colour i have never seen before. and it is beautiful. 

i walk up, and am inside just as large drops of rain begin to fall.
bismarck and mao are waiting for me. they are a little impatient.

*foundations//kate nash